Dear Future Husband,

For the past few years, statistics have been trying to convince me that you don’t exist. They say that my skin color, my intelligence and my undergraduate degree pretty much guarantee that you’ll never come along. I’m sorry to say that I’m starting to believe it.

My whole life, I’ve always been taught in church that I’m supposed to be found by my husband because “He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing.” Therefore, it’s not my place to be approaching men because good, Christian (and Southern) girls don’t do that. It makes you appear thirsty or loose and we just don’t do that.

Now I found out that I’m supposed to be looking for my Boaz. As I understand it, Ruth asked Boaz to marry her. So based on my Bible teachings, I’m confused. Am I supposed to be looking for you or are you supposed to be looking for me? I bought into it and now I wonder if I’ve pass you by or if you were simply too shy. Perhaps I haven’t exactly been putting out what it is that I want to get back. Sure I get the funny, intelligent brothas. What I don’t get is assertive, self-assured dudes who are ready for commitment.

I’m starting to wonder if you were even created for me and whether or not we’ll ever find each other. Honestly, I’m not getting any younger and I do want to have children while I’m young enough to match their energy. But really, who am I kidding? Odds are you probably don’t exist and it’s time for me to grip reality that you and our children may not be in the cards for me.

So, I am going to save myself the heartache and trouble and vow to have a life full of the three F’s – fun, foolishness and fuckery. I don’t see the sense in preparing myself for a family that probably won’t happen. From this day forward, I will push aside feelings of attachment and this need to nest.

So, farewell to you, sir. The idea of you and our life together was as sweet as my letting it go is sorrowful. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I hope life is good.

Sincerely,
Smarty